|
Not sad, but not happy either
23 November 2008, 18:43
I haven't cried in a while. I've never really been a crier to begin with, but it has been a while since I've poured my heart out and just let go. I think the last time I remember crying so hard was watching this sad, sad, sad Grey's Anatomy episode where the mom had cancer but didn't want her daughter to know cause she's a single parent and the daughter would be left all alone once she dies. I remember crying so hard in the middle of the night while watching it. I was so worried that my roommates would hear me sniffling, but thank goodness we're all pretty heavy sleepers. That was a couple of years ago.
Okay, so maybe it hasn't been 2 years since the last time I cried, but the tears are getting harder and harder to come by. People would probably say I'm just happy, but to be honest, there are days that I have a hard time getting out of bed. And of course Breakdown just happened to start playing on my iPod (it's on shuffle mode now. The iPod didn't just magically turn on. That would just be creepy).
So here's the deal. I'm not looking for a breakdown. Soooo not what I want. But what I am is sad. There are a lot of things that I've been thinking of and going through that past few days, weeks, months that have started to take a toll on me. And while people may see me as a typical Woooo! girl, well, to be honest I'm not all that into Woooing! right now. I just really want to cry on someone's shoulders and not talk but just cry my heart. If you know someone who's shoulder is available, please let me know. I would really appreciate it.
Song of the moment: Mariah Carey - Breakdown
|
