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my first night out
22 April 2007, 03:44
Greg Laswell - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
I did something out of the ordinary for me today. I actually went out – voluntarily. Okay, so it's not as if I stay at home all day long staring at this computer screen, although I have done that in the past. Anyone who knows me well enough would know that I do not like going out so much. For one thing, I'm not a heavy drinker. A few sips of beer and I’m good to go. And that's not even because I get drunk quickly – rather, it's because I turn red really quickly. Like lobster red. I think I’m allergic to alcohol or something. So to avoid turning red and having everyone think I am drunk, I only drink a little bit and just pretend I’m tipsy. I also don’t know how to dress up for a night out. Seriously. I don't have much fashion skills so I just put on whatever I can find in my closet. Usually it's just jeans and like a nice plain tank top. Most of the time, I go to a party wearing the exact same thing I would have worn if I were going to school. I do wish I could dress up and get all dolled up like all the other people, but I'm not so sure I can really carry that look. I’d feel like a poser, someone trying to fit in when in fact it's quite obvious I'm like a fish out of water. Another thing is that I don't dance AT ALL. I mean I try, like when the music starts and everyone is at the dance floor and you feel that burning desire to just let loose. So I go and try and after like a minute, I'm back on my chair with the rest of the non-dancing folks. I just cannot dance. I feel really awkward moving about flailing my arms and uh, shaking my hips in front of a bunch of strangers and even in front of my friends. So at most parties, I'm like a wallflower. I'm with the bunch of people who try to have a conversation amidst the loud music in the club. I spend more money on Coke and food rather than on anything alcoholic. So there I sit, watching other people enjoy themselves while I look at my watch I wondering what time it is so i can go home. I know I should try to get out more, to be more sociable, but it's hard for someone as shy as me. Okay, if you rolled your eyes at that line, please do understand that I am SHY. Like really. Extremely shy. It may not be so obvious when people see me or talk to me, but I am. So going out, having fun in places with lots of crowds is something I generally avoid because it just makes me feel so awkward. So there. People would probably laugh at the fact that I’m so proud that I went out tonight, but it’s alright. J I can be such a big fat loser sometimes. I'm writing this now so that the experience would still be on my mind. I just got home, and it's funny that i'm still awake. Maybe cause it's so expensive here to go out and I'm thinking that the money i spent tonight could buy me 5 meals (okay so maybe my meals are like 3 dollars each but still.) But i guess all in all, i had fun. I mean it was a night different from what I usually have but i enjoyed it. I still would rather go out to like a quite place and just talk all night long, but i just realized that once in a while, it'sgood to be able to go to a new place and just have fun. :)
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