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Someday. My Prince Will Come. Hahaha Post#2 today.
08 May 2006, 19:05
The mantra of all hopeless romantics. I don't think I'm part of that club. Like in senior year when we had a retreat, our room was called the hopeless romantics plus Judie. But there are days when I get to thinking about it, you know? I know it's bad to be impatient but then I can't help it. I really am. Impatient, that is. It's not that I want someone right now, but well, it's just that I've never actually had one. I don't think I ever even came close to having anyone. And I went to a coed school. My friends tell me I'm too picky. The boys tease me that I'm too high maintenance. Maybe I'm both. I do think too much, as anyone who knows me probably can tell you. When a guy starts showing some more-than-friends intentions to me, I tend to panic, especially if the person is a friend. I just am not comfortable with the whole courtship thing and as my friend just told me, I don't like to assume. I kind of stay oblivious until the guy tells me something. But usually they don't. And apparently guys don't like to say anything because they're afraid of rejection, so by not saying anything technically they can't be rejected by the girl. Smart. But if the girl's like me, rejection's not even an option because I won't think of it that way. Never. Hahaha. I know it could be a pretty dumb thing of me and I probably hurt the guy more that way but I don't know how to turn people down. Usually what I do is I avoid the person, which isn't the best thing to do. I know it's the bitchiest thing a person can do but I just panic and that is the easiest thing to do. But then again it's not like guys are knocking down my door by the hundreds. Maybe I don't even bother to open my door to guys because I already have this preconceived idea of the guy for me. Like apparently I have a type. I never realized it but I do. I know it's a bad thing to just keep looking for that one certain person that fits all these requirements but then again I haven't met anyone who’s tried to destroy that mold I've created. Or maybe they have I just didn;t notice. I really don't know. I don't go for the conventional good-looking guy although I have fallen in that trap before and my crushes aren't half-bad looking. I just like good boys. Hahaha. I really do. I like guys who are sweet but not sappy, someone who doesn't proclaim his love to the world because well, he doesn't need to because anyone who sees him look at the girl would know how much he loves her. I like quiet guys, but someone I can spend hours talking to and someone who would actually listen and not judge my stupidity. I just want someone wh'’d make me smile and laugh and someone I'd want to do the same thing to. I don't know if that's too much to ask or if a guy like that exists but I think what scares me the most is that I might find that guy only I'm not the one he's looking for.
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