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when it rains
21 September 2005, 23:12
SONG: Eels - Fresh Feeling
What makes a perfect day? Waking up when the rain is pouring out the windows and you continue lying in bed all curled up, enjoying the cold. The outside world remains dark and you try to continue sleeping until you can't close your eyes anymore. You jump out of bed and rush to the kitchen where the fluffiest pancakes rest, ready for the taking. After eating, you take a nice warm bath and dress up in your comfiest - and rattiest - clothes and spend the day watching your favorite movies. You spend the day alone and enjoy the silence that doesn't come all that often. The day ends with the rain still falling lightly outside and you lie in bed listening to it, wishing that tomorrow would be another perfect day.
Perfect days don't come all that often for me. Usually the day starts with me oversleeping and having to rush around just to get to school on time. I do try to wake up early, setting my alarm at the earliest possible moment but for the past nineteen years, I hardly ever hear the alarm clock go off. What I wouldn't give to be a light sleeper. Not that I want to wake from every noise made. Just you know. Light enough that I wouldn't have to wake up in a rush.
Most people hate rainy days. The hassle of bringing umbrellas around and walking on muddy streets with the fear of slipping at any moment isn't exactly fun, I have to admit. Especially if your walking in slippers and they get soaked from the countless puddles on every sidewalk you pass and you're lugging around your extremely heavy school bag while trying to balance all the other stuff you have to hold. But as much as I like complaining about the endless rain, I do actually enjoy it. I like looking out the window and watching the rain clean up the streets. I like the feel of the rain on my face when I'm walking in it. It's a bit of a hassle to get soaking wet especially when you have to bring around a brown envelope with your accounting homework in it and you know the ink's probably smearing as each droplet falls on it but navigating the wet streets umbrella-less gives me a sense of peace I don't feel all that often. Getting muddy feet is a pain but I think that's why I bring around tissues for anyway. I like the feeling of getting home after walking in the rain, that feeling of cleanliness inside even if you're probably really dirty outside. I like taking a shower while it's raining. The water gets really cold and it's freezing in the bathroom but my hair feels so much softer afterwards and my skin looks smoother than normal - which probably has nothing to do with the rain but still it makes me feel good. I like sitting on the couch and watching the raindrops fall while listening to my favorite songs and feeling impossibly depressed and extremely hopeful at the same time. I like doing nothing when it's raining and just think. Think about the rain and my life and all I want to do and how I will do them. I come up with elaborate plans complete with the smallest details on how I want my life to turn up in the future. I like feeling of being able to do anything I want to and when it rains I feel like I have permission to slack of just a tiny bit from all the things that I have to do. The rain is one of those surprises that I like to get. When the sky gets dark and the rain starts to fall is the time when I'm probably most relaxed. As the wind blows hard outside I am at my calmest. And when life gets a bit too much for me, the rain is a welcome guest, a distraction that will definitely not be turned away.
I've never actually gotten soaking wet under the rain. I still think I'll get sick if I stay in the rain too long, which is probably true, but still sometimes I get tempted to do so. It's the rainy season again and there are days when the rain doesn't stop falling and the entire day remains dark. But once the rain stops there is a hint of sunshine from behind the clouds and the wind is still a bit cool and everything is starting to dry up and there is that hackneyed feeling of a new day beginning. And as much as I love the rain and as much as I enjoy it, I still can't resist getting trapped in that old cliché of getting a new beginning as the sun comes out and a new day starts.
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